


You Understand, Jack

by TaylorCee591



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Bottom!Ten, M/M, Torchwood spoilers, top!Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:46:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3409415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaylorCee591/pseuds/TaylorCee591
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after Miracle Day in Torchwood. Instead of Jack leaving Earth, Jack carries on Torchwood Three. In this, he hasn't said goodbye to 10 yet. In The Doctor's timeline he has just said goodbye to Donna (when Wilf says he will look up at the stars on her behalf).</p><p>Jack talks a lot about what happens in Torchwood so if you haven't seen it and don't want it spoiled I highly suggest not reading this.</p><p>I have also posted this work on fanfiction dot net so don't worry if you see it there under the username TC591, it's mine!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jack was sitting in his office when he heard it, that familiar sound.

_The TARDIS._

But he didn't run to follow it or try to track it through Rift activity because the noise wasn't out on the streets of Cardiff – it was right here in the Hub. Jack stood up and walked to the door of his office as the box faded into sight in front of the metal structure that was in the middle of the base. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway as the little blue door opened and he stuck his head out, as usual he wasn't sure exactly where or _when_ he was.

"Jack?"

"Up here." His head whipped to look at Jack. "You're all wet, Doctor."

The Doctor smiled as he spotted Jack, it was a smile Jack had seen before but not like this. Something was wrong.

"Hey, yes it's been raining." He straightened up, his lower half coming into view. "Well, I say 'been' I mean back when I last stopped. What year is this?"

"2011."

"Great, great year. Well… I say 'great', there's definitely some bad bits. Some good too though," he smiled at Jack, "always  _some_  good."

"What are doing here?" Jack could see through his bullshit, and for some reason he was a little annoyed. He wasn't here to chit chat, he wanted something and Jack wasn't in the mood to stand around and pretend like The Doctor cared. Maybe it was harsh, of course The Doctor cared, but he couldn't help it.

"Re-fuelling." He stepped out of the TARDIS.

"And what, top side was too busy?" Jack disappeared into his office, The Doctor shut the door and slowly walked his converse up the stairs. That wasn't good; if he was himself then he would have bounded up those stairs letting his coat flail around behind him.

"Do you want me to go, Jack?" He looked around the office a little.

"Why would I want you to go?" He leaned against his desk and waited. Jack wanted to know what was wrong but he wasn't sure if he _wanted_ to know. If The Doctor was coming to Jack then there must be something really wrong.

"You don't seem happy." He slowly started to take off his coat to reveal his blue suit while looking at Jack.

"What's wrong?" Jack didn't want to talk about what was bothering him, not really, he'd rather know if the Medusa Cascade had imploded, if a cascade could even implode, or if the Daleks had claimed more life forms.

"Donna went home."

"Why?"

"Her brain couldn't take it, after the metacrisis she had half a Timelord consciousness and there's never been one of those before – a human to Timelord metacrisis. There can't be, a human brain can't take it, it starts to burn up."

"What did you do?" Jack was suddenly a little worried, that didn't sound like a healthy goodbye.

"I…" The Doctor tried not to but he started to get emotional as he spoke, holding onto his coat, "I erased her memory."

"All of it?" Jack's eyebrows reached up.

"No, just me. I erased everything about me from her memory to save her."

"Everything? What about all of the things you did together, all of the people, civilisations and planets she saved?" Jack couldn't imagine that, and he couldn't decide if he would turn it down or not. After the things he had done.

"I know Jack! It was either she died knowing me or she lived without remembering. What was I supposed to do, let her die? Or just kill that part of her? It she remembers anything about what we did then she'll die. Anything." He took a breath like he always did after an outburst over something he hated himself for, hated that he didn't have another solution, he took a breath like he hadn't taken one in a long while.

Jack didn't say anything. He just watched as The Doctor calmed himself and hung his coat up next to Jack's. "Is that why you're here? If I see her, not that I will, but if I do I won't engage her."

The Doctor nodded. "Good."

" _Is_  that why you're here?"

"I like your coat, Jack."

"I like yours, Doctor." He knew The Doctor was stalling but he must have had a reason.

The Doctor laughed a little as he stroked Jack's coat. "I'm sorry that I left you, Jack, that first time. Rose doesn't even remember what she did."

"I figured by her reaction on The Crucible. Did she go home too?"

"Yeah, I took her back to her universe before they all closed up, I left her there with my duplicate."

"Is it wise to let him run around, two Timelords?" Jack had a vision of another him in a parallel universe hunting that version of The Doctor's duplicate. Or even better... He would have trailed off and let his mind wander if he wasn't so concerned about what The Doctor was saying.

"He's not a Timelord," The Doctor was still looking at Jack's coat, "he has my mind, emotions and memories but he… he only has one heart – human body."

"Are you still connected? Like can you see what he sees?"

"No." The Doctor shook his head. "We were never connected like that, he has my memories up to the point of his creation but he's human like… Donna."

"So Rose gets you forever in the end and that's why Mickey stayed here."

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, they get to grow old together and… die together. Something I can never do."

"Do you want to die, Doctor? You asked me that once."

"Sometimes I want to, sometimes I wish I didn't have this role in the universe." He looked down, sadly.

"Doctor, why are you here?"

"I uh," He looked back at Jack for a second before turning back to the coats, "I'm tired Jack. I'm an old man who has had to watch everyone die or leave or… forget. I'm so sick of being the one left behind. This coat, where did you get it?" He looked at Jack who was slightly taken back by the sudden question.

"It's not from a shop, it is real; I was there."

"What was it like? Watching all of those men and women die? Children screaming in pain and a county brought to its knees by gunfire and explosives?"

"It broke my soul. I stood there as boys, that's what they were – just boys forced to play at being men, were covered in mud and water then sprayed with the blood of the men next to them. Men would watch me get shot in the head and ten minutes later I'd catch them up in the trenches and they'd just blink as I took the other arm of the guy they were carrying. They had already seen so much that nothing could shock them because that was their permanent state. Nothing about the whole thing made sense anyway. I watched men next to me fall down screaming and gargling and I wished, every time, that I had been standing there instead of them."

"So why do you wear it?"

"I look good in it." Jack gave his trademark smirk as he folded his arms again.

"Jack." The Doctor's head turned to Jack a bit but his eyes stayed on the coat.

Jack sighed. "Because history forgets but I don't, I still see every face from that, from everything – I see them all. I hardly sleep, I don't exactly need it but more than that when I close my eyes I see them all. All of them, whether it was in the war or not, they all died and left me behind. I'm the sole survivor every time."

" _That's_ why I'm here; you understand. You know what it's like to pick yourself up and brush off the dust as you work your way out of the rubble with no sign of other life. And we just get up and keep on walking, don't we, because what else can we do? We're quite alike, Jack, you have the coat, the hair," Jack let out a laugh, "the pain… We've both lost our own people. You even have a name that's not yours."

Jack stopped laughing. "Yeah, I guess we are alike."

"And everyone leaves. Even _you_ left me." The Doctor said softly.

"I didn't do a very good job of it then." He gestured to The Doctor.

He laughed and ruffled his own hair as he walked towards Jack slowly. "Clearly."

"I'm sorry, I still don't understand why you're here, Doctor. I can't come with you, if I leave then God knows how quickly Torchwood will go back to the way it was before, the way that Torchwood used to be, and I can't let that happen. No matter what, if I have to do it single handed then I will."

"I'm not here to get you to come with me, Jack. I mean, if you wanted to then I'd love it but that's not why I'm here."

"I'm immortal, not psychic." Jack shrugged.

"We're the same, Jack. And right now, I could do with someone who knows what it's like." He stopped a step in front of Jack, suddenly looking him in the eye, and Jack uncrossed his arms to let him in – The Doctor hugged Jack as he leaned against his desk. And The Doctor cried. He tried not to let Jack know but he did. The Doctor cried and it broke Jack's soul all over again. The oncoming storm, the great exterminator, and the destroyer of worlds was crying into Jack's shoulder. "I couldn't stop thinking about you, Jack."

"Why?"

"I just kept thinking," He looked up, his eyes red with emotion. "'I'm so alone, I can't take the pain any more.' You know? I go between losing people and never wanting to go through that again to never wanting to be lonely because I need someone there, someone to stop me when I do things because I can go too far, I have gone too far and I do go too far. But then I thought, 'What about Jack, he's going through all of this too, he's been alone now for over a hundred years' and for over one hundred years you've been left behind. Like me."

Jack thought about it and let a tear fall. "Yeah."

"Jack?" The Doctor was looking at the wall with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah?"

"It's twelve o'clock." Jack turned to look at the clock on the wall behind him that The Doctor was looking at. "What day is this?"

"Wednesday."

"Where is everyone? Your team, there was em… Gwen Cooper and that guy…"

Jack inhaled and the air hurt his chest. "Ianto, Ianto Jones."

"There were others too, what were their names?"

"Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato."

"Yeah, where are they?"

"Gwen is at home. She quit, she couldn't do it anymore, after everything…" Jack trailed off.

"And what about the rest of them?" The Doctor looked at Jack, his own tears beginning to dry.

"Gone."

"Home?"

Jack shook his head. "No." The Doctor raised his head a little in realisation. "They died." Jack gave up, he let himself cry in front of his Doctor.

"Jack…" The Doctor pulled Jack to him and let him cry too. Both of them leaning on each other. The last of the Time Lords and the last of Torchwood Three. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Me too." The Doctor pulled back to look at Jack and he stayed like that for a moment. "What is it, what are you looking at?" The Doctor cupped Jacks face in his right hand and wiped a tear away with his thumb so Jack did the same to him.

"The end of the universe will come and it'll just be me and you, you know that?" The look on The Doctor's face was serious and sad.

"I might get you that drink then." The Doctor laughed. "Is this all you came here for, Doctor? To make me cry and wipe my tears, like you always do?"

"No, Jack. I came here for this." The Doctor kissed Jack. His lips had barely touched Jack's before he pushed The Doctor off in shock for a second. "I'm sorry Jack I just-"

"What? So you can leave someone? You come in here, do this and then swagger off in your TARDIS so that you get to leave someone alive and well? It doesn't work like that because I may be alive but I am  _not_  well." Jack jumped down the hole to his bunker and waited for the familiar noise. The noise that didn't come. Instead he saw a pair of converse dangling in the hole.

"You know what I like about you, Jack?"

"My coat." Jack said bitterly.

He laughed and jumped into the bunker. "Apart from that. You were a bad man."

"Thanks(!)" Jack sat on his bed and watched as The Doctor leaned against the ladder with his hands in his pockets.

"I mean, you were a time agent, they took your memories and it angered you so you turned a little, I get that, I do. But it wasn't really who you were, I mean you have the capacity to be a bad person but in the end, after everything, you sacrificed yourself on Satellite Five and when you came back you stumbled around for a while but in the end you came here and you changed Torchwood. You _actually_ did that, you said to yourself, I've had my fun so now if I'm going to be here forever then I'll be the guy who walks through fire, the one who plays the hero and disappears before any thanks are given."

"It's not all smiles and banners."

"Oh, I know that, believe me, I know that. You did all of that but you also decided to make the decisions that no one else could, do what needed to be done, no matter how horrible and take the hatred and abuse for it. Not only that, but you would have to live with each and every decision and death forever."

"So?" Jack knew all of that, he didn't need The Doctor to tell him, he was reminded every day when he worked alone and every night when he replayed it all.

The Doctor took a half lunge towards him with his eyes and smile wide, his hair on end and sat down beside Jack. "Don't you see, Jack? That's why I came here. What I do, I don't have a choice and even if I did I would still travel through time. The people and places I've been, the brilliant,  _brilliant_  people who do brilliant things, who ask the questions and make the decisions that no one else does because they are good people who, when faced with the decision, do the right thing because it runs right through them. And you? You had a choice, you're one of the brilliant ones Jack, you're not only one of them but you've been one of them for over a hundred years and you're committed to being one for as long as you are given the choice. You understand and you're a good person, Jack."

Jack looked at The Doctor, his Doctor, the man who had lost everything and everyone. The man who saw the good when no one else could. And the man who, whether he admitted it or not, sensed Jack's pain and came to share his own. Jack saw it now, the man who saw all of the pain in the universe and clung to the good because it's what kept him going. What else could he do? What could Jack do?

Jack knew that one.

He kissed The Doctor and The Doctor kissed him back. Jack didn't know exactly what The Doctor wanted from him, usually Jack was good, expert in fact, at reading people and what they wanted but The Doctor wasn't people. The Doctor must have sensed this because he broke their kiss, keeping their foreheads touching and his eyes closed for a second. Before he opened them and looked at Jack's left wrist as the hand rested on The Doctor's neck. "I hope you understand why I had to stop you from running around all of time and space Jack."

"I do. A man running around messing with history is bad enough but a man who can't die causing havoc with the smallest choice, even by mistake, and you have to clean it up because no one else can or no one else will."

"I know you're a good person Jack but even I have made mistakes and changed time by just trying to help. And I know that you would do everything to help. Even die."

"My death doesn't really count." Jack dismissed it.

"But it does!" He moved back a little to look at Jack. "Even before you were brought back you stood between the Daleks and Rose and I and sacrificed yourself and you might come back the same on the outside but I bet you remember every single death."

Jack nodded. "One thousand, four hundred and thirty-nine."

"Wow, really? You need to be more careful." They both laughed and The Doctor kissed Jack again.

"What about you?" Jack chanced, he knew The Doctor was guarded but he had to ask.

The Doctor took a second. "Ten... _that I talk about_ ," he whispered that bit and Jack knew not to ask, some things are best left unanswered, "unless you count the last time but that didn't go all the way through so I don't think it counts. But my death is soon."

"How do you mean?"

"Jack, can we not do this? I can't-" He moved away from Jack.

Jack nodded and cut him off. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He moved in and kissed The Doctor again, Jack let The Doctor lead, he wasn't used to it but, as he said, he had no idea what The Doctor wanted from him. The Doctor shuffled back on the bed and Jack followed him, as he lay down on the bed he pulled Jack over him and Jack understood now. The Doctor was tired, tired of being followed around and explaining everything. He wanted to follow and have everything explained to him. Captain Jack Harkness could do that for his Doctor.

"Jack?" The Doctor whispered.

"Yeah?" He broke off to look at him lying there.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't do...  _that_."

"Do what?" Jack just looked at his Doctor, he wasn't doing anything yet.

"Don't be the man in the coat with a smirk and the wrist strap. Don't be the Captain. I don't want to be The Doctor just now and I don't want you to be The Captain. Just…" He kissed Jack, "kiss me and we'll both leave the coats up there on the hooks for tonight."

Jack leaned on his right hand and offered the doctor his left. The man smiled, undid the wrist strap and Jack put it on the table. "Since I'm not being The Captain right now…" Jack sighed. "I don't know what you want from me, here… In this moment."

"Then find out."

Jack smiled and began kissing the doctor's neck. "And what do you want, Jack?" The voice vibrated under Jack's lips as he unbuttoned the doctor's suit jacket, eased it from his shoulders and left it underneath him.

"Find out." They both laughed.

"I'm good at finding things out."

"But I'm one thing you can't use your screwdriver on." Jack smirked and the doctor rolled over on top of him.

"I guess I'll just have to go about it differently." He kissed Jack as he started unbuttoning the man's shirt, as he went to move it from Jack's shoulders he pulled Jack's torso towards him then huffed a smile before he pulled Jack's braces down. The doctor also pulled Jack's vest off before he threw it with the shirt towards his own jacket and they stopped to look at each other.

"Well, I never thought this would ever happen." They smiled at each other as the doctor widened his eyes in agreement.

"Believe me, it wasn't exactly my plan."

"Oh?" Jack, still sitting up, with the doctor straddling him, started on the older man's shirt.

"I dropped her off and then I got back into the TARDIS. I walked up to the console and I just… I just stood there for a while." Jack saw a distance in the man's eyes. Jack had seen him when his years were shown on his body but seeing the age in his eyes was a new harrowing experience for Jack. He wanted to fix it, the way that the doctor looked at the stars and wanted to make them shine as bright as they could. "Then I felt heavy so I sat for a while and, do you know, I never notice how big the TARDIS is. Everyone says it, it's bigger on the inside and I'm used to that but I never really notice it myself anymore. Until I'm alone. And in that moment…" He trailed off.

"You were the most alone you think you've ever been." Jack finished the sentence but it wasn't a question. "I know that feeling."

The doctor looked at Jack and could see that, right then, as much as he needed Jack, Jack needed this man all the same. "Jack."

"Yeah?"

"We are rubbish at this."

They both laughed. "I'm usually quite good at this but I'm always The Captain. Not tonight."

"Does it make you uncomfortable because we can stop?"

"No, it's not that. It's just I've spent my whole life…s being someone else, I'm always using this name, I'm always making up stories and running away. That is who I am now. I haven't become Captain Jack Harkness, I've become a constant story, always being retold and rewritten so when you say 'Don't be the Captain' I'm not becoming myself, I'm just looking for a different story to follow for tonight." Jack sighed, it was strange to talk to the doctor like this and it felt good.

"Well,  _I_  know that feeling. Jack," he kissed the man, trying to get back to the night they both needed, "but you can be whoever you want to be, I just wanted to give you the chance of dropping the act for tonight, like I need to. I'm still the doctor, I'm still  _your_  doctor," Jack kissed him at that, and got rid of the man's shirt, "because that story is the one I follow now but I meant that I don't have to sonic things," Jack dropped his smile feeling guilty for his comment about the screwdriver, "no, I just mean I don't have to sonic things, or set a date to fly off to and save a species from another, which is usually you guys by the way, Earth never seems to be able to stay out of trouble."

Jack chuckled. "That's why you like it so much. Like an old man seeing himself in his grandchild."

The doctor smiled. "Exactly like that. But I can still be the doctor and lock up the TARDIS for the night. You can still be the captain but leave the coat hanging up and stop with the fake smile." He traced his thumb from the tip of Jack's nose to his lips and parted them slightly before locking his eyes on Jack's bottom lip.

"In that case, do you know what we should probably do less of, which we seem to do a lot of?" The doctor didn't look away from the captain's lips when he moved his own as if he were going to kiss him again but then stopped and shook his head. "Talking." Jack started kissing the doctor's neck and pulling at his trousers as the doctor let out a little laugh. When Jack tried to pull down the doctor's trousers the man stood and kicked his shoes off before allowing his trousers to follow, he pulled at Jack's shoes as he lazily kicked them off too and crawled back over him. He reached for Jack's trousers and fiddled with the belt.

"Tell me one thing," he huffed as he spoke and struggled with the blazing thing, "why on earth do you wear braces  _and_  a belt?"

"What's wrong with the braces?" Jack huffed.

"Oh nothing, I love the braces! Love them, I might try them sometime."

"Not your style." Jack smiled as he finally got the belt undone and pulled the zip down.

"No, maybe when I have a different face again. Although, I hope I keep the hair, I like the hair."

"So do I." Jack ran his hand through the doctor's damp hair and only let go to assist in removing his own trousers. When the doctor came back Jack ran his right hand through the man's hair again and pulled him in for a deeper kiss. As he did that the doctor rubbed his hand down Jack's side, into his boxers and grabbed his buttocks. It had been a while since anyone had touched Jack like that. Oh, Jack had had lovers recently, he had needs after all and appreciated the beauty of the human form, but none who had touched him in the way the doctor was. So soft and tender but firm and full of want and vulnerability. No one since… _No._ He rolled over on top of the doctor and moved his legs in between his when he ground his erection against the doctor's own and smiled as the man gave out the most gorgeous noise. It wasn't the moan but the laugh that came after it. As well as the red cheeks that followed. "Are you embarrassed?"

"I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from."

"I'd say it came from here." Jack made the move again and the doctor closed his eyes making the same noise.

"Jack…"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. Just…" Jack did it again. "Jack..."

Jack smiled and decided he'd had enough. "Now?"

The doctor sat up and kissed Jack before nodding. "Now."

"You sure about this?"

"Less talking you said." The doctor bucked his hips towards Jack and that was all he needed. When their underwear had been awkwardly discarded and Jack reached for the lube in the cabinet beside his bed. "What are we… Where are you…" The doctor swallowed and caught his breath. "What's the…"

"Whatever you want."

The doctor nodded and rubbed a small circle in Jack's stomach as he spoke. "Would you, I mean, if you can, can we… em, will you go slow?" He looked up at Jack, asking for help, in a way, but not vulnerable, just needing guidance. The doctor was still himself in that he was exactly where he wanted to be but he was out-experienced by Jack and he knew it.

The way he drew the circles on Jack's stomach wasn't child-like or any other image that you may have conjured up when it was described. It was the act of someone who just wanted to touch the other person, it didn't matter for what reason, just skin on skin and that hadn't happened to Jack since… _No_. Jack cleared his mind and nodded. "Of course."

It took a little while but now they were rocking in rhythm with each other and Jack had found the spot he was looking for. The doctor had gone passed embarrassed and Jack had gone passed slow now. They were fully used to it, they were passed uncomfortable or pain, passed squirming and grunting. Now they were sweating, breathing heavy and Jack's cot was squeaking with them.

"Jack?" He was breathless and his fingernails were digging into Jack's shoulders and neck.

"Yeah?" Jack barely got out his word.

"I've never done this before." He moaned out a little and he stretched his neck slightly.

"With a man?"

"Ever."

Jack lost rhythm for a second before he picked it up again. "Ever?"

The doctor shook his head and they slowly began to pick up their breathing again, it even started getting slightly faster.

"Why now, why me?" Jack was close and he could tell the doctor was too although Jack wasn't sure if the doctor would… like humans did.

"Because…" The doctor kissed Jack and brought their foreheads together again as they both reached breaking point. "Because… you understand, Jack."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair talk about what's been happening to Torchwood while The Doctor has been away. Torchwood spoilers.

They lay as they came down from their ecstasy together.

"Tell me what happened, Jack. To your team." The doctor suddenly asked, Jack had a feeling it would have popped up at some point.

"Owen was shot, we were investigating mysterious deaths and we ended up at The Pharm, actually Martha was with us."

"Martha Jones, my Martha?" He ruffled his hair, pausing as he said it.

"Yeah, as a part of UNIT, she joined us and during the investigation Owen was shot. And I… Well, I couldn't handle it so I used the resurrection glove to-"

" _The what?_ "

"It's a glove that brings people back from the dead," The doctor sat up ready to go off on one when Jack cut him off in the process of sitting up himself and pulling the covers over the both of them, " _BUT_ I had got rid of it after the last time." The doctor just looked at him. "Basically one of my team had been using it, it's specific about who it works for, it only brings a person back for a few minutes, we had been using it to try and ask people how they had died but it hardly ever worked because-"

"Because you had just woken someone up, told them that they had died and expected them to be helpful!" The doctor exclaimed, looking at Jack like he was crazy.

"Listen, I got rid of it. One of my team used it, she died and Gwen brought her back but instead of cutting off after a few minutes she stayed awake. It was almost too late when we realised that she was using it to drain the life from Gwen. But…" Jack hesitated. "Gloves come in pairs."

"Oh Jack, what did you do?"

"I couldn't handle it, he was my team member, my responsibility and he died so… I found the other glove and woke him up. I needed to know some things." Jack looked guiltily to the side, whatever had happened he always felt like his doctor's approval was the most precious thing in the world. And his disapproval was like a knife to the gut.

"Then what? Wait,  _you_  woke him up? You? As in _immortal_ Jack?"

"Exactly, we could have used you back then because we didn't realise what it would do. Owen didn't die after a few minutes he stayed alive. Well, not exactly alive. His body was still dead but he was able to think and walk around. He was a walking dead man."

"So, what happened?"

"We had a big… Aw it's a big story but basically we have Weevils living in the sewers here in Cardiff."

"Weevils? And you let them be?" He seemed genuinely surprised that they hadn't wiped them out.

"Torchwood used to just kill them but we knock them out and bring them here. Anyway, they were everywhere and the power plant was going to blow. We had discovered that the Weevils wouldn't attack Owen; it was like they thought he was Death walking the earth. They coward away from him so he went to the power plant and Tosh was here, on the monitors trying to fix it but she needed someone to access it from the plant. My brother, he was here and he shot Tosh."

"Why?" Jack began to tear up and the doctor hugged him. "Okay, okay. It's fine. What did Tosh do Jack, just tell me about Tosh."

"She," he sniffed, pushing it down, "uh she managed to stop the plant from blowing up but the systems trapped Owen inside, he died when the radiation flooded the place. I got to Tosh too late, she had been helping Owen, the whole time losing blood and she died with me."

"You lost them both in that moment?" The doctor reached out to Jack, who had sat back, and wiped his tear.

"Yeah. Gwen and Ianto were fine. Owen's life wasn't a happy one when he came back, he was more bitter and angry than he was before. He had been through some things that he never really let on about. He was a bit of a lad but he had bad experiences with love. When I first met him, his fiancé, Katie, had just died, an alien was in her head but the hospital diagnosed it as a tumour, when she died I met him and recruited him. But a plane fell through the rift here, a plane with people in it who disappeared in 1953 and they never turned up again. Well, we were trying to find lives for them here, he was helping the pilot Diane and he fell in love with her."

"What happened to her?"

"She couldn't handle it, being stuck her in a time that wasn't hers, I know that feeling so I understood but Owen watched as she stole a plane and flew off looking for the loop in time that dropped her here."

"She won't find it. It'll have been a blip so it'll have closed up again after they came through."

"I know. But she needed to fly and Owen's heart shattered as she left. I think he remembered what love does to you and I think he finally understood what Ianto had been through."

The doctor ran fingers through his own hair and Jack suddenly felt guilty. "What had Ianto been through? What happened to him? I liked him, he seemed like a smart guy."

Jack smiled. "He was." Then his smile fell and he cleared his throat. "He was a part of Torchwood One and he joined us after he helped me capture a pterodactyl. To start with he was more in the background, he did the paperwork and the archives and brought us coffee. We didn't even realise that he was keeping the whole place running. Owen called him Tea Boy, but after we realised just how much he did Owen still called him it, I think it was more of an endearment than an insult at that point. But Ianto wasn't completely honest with us in the beginning. His girlfriend had been partly converted in the battle at Canary-Wharf and he was hiding her in our basement."

"What? Was he trying to convert her back?"

"Yeah, obviously it didn't work and after she killed a pizza girl we shot her. He wouldn't."

"You didn't ask him to?" Jack didn't say anything. "Jack, please tell me you didn't ask him to kill the woman he loved?"

"I put a gun to his head and ordered him to or I would kill him."

The doctor got up from the bed and pulled his boxers on. "'Torchwood has changed, I did it for you.' What was that all about Jack?"

"I was angry okay? He put us all in danger and he was just a secretary!"

"Wow." The doctor froze looking at Jack in disbelief.

"Well he was! Back then, back then that's what we thought. We thought that we were the heroes and he was privileged to be at our beck and call and should be happy about it, okay?! And I spend every minute of every day wishing I could go back and change that because I love him!" Jack leaned on one arm while covering his face with his right and began to cry.

The doctor sat back down on the bed and pulled Jack's arm away from his face. "I'm sorry, Jack. Where you two…?"

"Yes. When I left you and Martha I came back here and I suggested that we actually go out on a formal date. It carried on from there."

"How did he die?" The doctor rubbed his palm over the back of Jack's hand lightly as it sat on the bed.

"We were dealing with the 456 when they came back for another tribute-"

"Sorry…" The doctor closed his eyes, with a little smile. "What?"

Jack sighed, knowing what was coming. "You won't like this. At all."

"I'll try to listen."

"No, seriously. If you didn't like me pointing a gun at Ianto you  _really_  won't like this. This is children." The doctor took a breath and nodded. "Basically, in 1965 this unknown life form communicated with the Earth, we named them the 456 because of the wavelength they communicated through, they offered us the cure for the Indonesian flu that could have killed 25 million people, they offered us that. Please remember that, they gave us that in exchange for…"

"For what Jack?"

"Twelve children."

"What?" He just looked at Jack. "What? So, I'm sorry, so… they just gave them the children?"

"What else could I do?"

"Wait,  _you_ …  _You_  gave them twelve children?!"

"Yes. We had an agreement, they would take the children and never return. What else could I do?"

"You could have fought!"

"You know what?" Jack scrambled away for the doctor and got up, pulling his own boxers on. "You weren't there! When you come and you make the hard decisions it's okay because people target you and you will do anything to stop it. But when you're not here we are left to find solutions for ourselves. I tried everything, livestock, myself, anything!"

The doctor's face softened, as did his voice. "You offered yourself?"

"Of course I did! Do you really think I would have just agreed right away, I tried and I tried but they wouldn't budge. Twelve children for 25 million. What would you have done doctor? Because I see that every moment of everyday too. I walked along that road - I had just picked them up and drove them to the place - I walked along that road holding their hands and telling them everything would be okay. I didn't know okay, I  _swear_  to you that I didn't know until they came back just what they were doing with them. But you weren't here Doctor! I was scared and I had no alternatives!" Jack was crying, all he could do was see the child's face on the monitor. Ianto's face. The child used for a fix and the man used as an example.

"What were they doing?" The doctor reached out to hold Jack's hand.

"They were hooking them up and draining from them."

"Like a drug?"

"Yes." The doctor closed his eyes, pursed his mouth together and nodded, as if he knew Jack would agree and he hated himself for getting it right. "And then they wanted more, they broke the agreement and they didn't just want twelve – they wanted ten percent of the population of children. The government tried to kill my team and me because of the last agreement with the 456 but we survived, they planted a bomb in my stomach and it went off but they knew about me. So they stored my body parts in a body bag. Turns out even that doesn't work, so they encased me in cement."

"How did you get out?"

"My team can be quite handy and Ianto was good with a fork-lift." They both laughed gently. "I went with Ianto to confront the 456 and told them no, I wasn't doing this again, my own government tried to kill me because they were going to go ahead but I wasn't going to let that happen. Not only was it just as wrong as the first time, no matter the number, they had broken the agreement. So they…" Jack sat down and took a breath.

"It's okay, Jack. You don't have to tell me." Jack felt the doctor's hand rubbed up his back, the gesture was so calming. Or it would have been if it didn't remind him of the last person who did that.

"It's fine. I just… There is nothing worse than knowing that there is nothing that you can do as you both start to die except that I know that when I come back… They won't. When I refused they released a virus throughout the building, it killed everyone, I pleaded and I begged them," Jack could see it happening again, "I  _pleaded_  with them to give him back but they didn't care. I held him in my arms and he broke my heart with his words." He tried to push it down again as his throat tightened and his eyes stung.

"What did he say?"

Jack saw it all as if it was happening again right in front of him and he was just as powerless right there in his bunker as he was the day it happened. He let his tears fall as the doctor looked at him, waiting and almost crying himself. "He said that he loved me and… I didn't say it back. I couldn't take in that it was happening again. Not to him." Jack could feel the pain, just as fresh and just as powerless.

_'Then I take it back, alright? I take it all back – but not him!'_

"He asked me not to forget him, he thought that I would forget him. He _actually_ thought, after everything, that he meant nothing to me."

_'Don't forget me… A thousand years' time… You won't remember me.'_

"After the way I behaved I don't blame him. And he didn't even blame me. After everything that I had put him through he never blamed me."

_'It's all my fault.'_

_'No it's not.'_

"He never blamed me. I couldn't even tell him in his last breaths that I loved him and he never blamed me."

"Oh Jack." The doctor held Jack as he sobbed, tucking Jack's head, as it bowed to his chest, under his chin. "I'm sorry, I am so sorry. This should have never happened to you. All of this pain and suffering, I did this to you." Jack pulled back from the doctor as he rubbed the tears from his face. He looked tired.

"Don't you dare do that because you carry enough around in that old head of yours. These stories are mine, doctor, let me keep them." The doctor smiled wearily and nodded. "And Gwen decided, after her husband and parents were taken hostage along with her baby daughter. After she had to deal with a rapist, who was due to be executed but just happened to be on Miracle Day when everyone became immortal and the government ruled that his death sentence was carried out so he was released and became a celebrity. We had to deal with him and American officers who tried to kill me-"

"They tried to kill you?" The doctor shook his head a little, as if that information hit him and was too much.

"Ah yeah, I guess you missed all of that too." Jack smiled. He felt a little like he was giving the cliff notes of a classic but he'd forgotten just how much the doctor had missed. Even the rest of the world didn't know. Hell, the rest of Cardiff didn't know.

"Did you say immortal?"

"Yeah," he exhaled, "an old lover of mine, who had me tortured because he though that I was the devil, became obsessed with the idea of immortality and developed a way to do it by using this thing they called The Blessing that runs under the earth, they used blood they had taken from me and introduced it to The Blessing which then change the physiology of the world. Mortals became immortal and-"

"Immortals became mortal…"

"Yeah, so I was the only person the earth who could die. Long story short, there were some CIA agents who were trying to kill me, oh Gwen punched her a good one, you should have seen it. The woman, who had poisoned me and Gwen had saved me from, said 'If you're the best England's got to offer, then god help you.' And Gwen said 'I'm Welsh.' And knocked her out."

"That's brilliant! Well… I say brilliant but I don't like violence. If I approved of violence I would have thought that was brilliant." He smiled at Jack.

Jack didn't smile back. "She tried to kill me and she worked for the people who had tortured me and threatened the human race. People weren't dying but they weren't healing; they were stuck in a coma like state. They had started up these camps and started burning them! All she did was punch her. I would have shot her and then she would have been category one too."

"Jack…"

"Although, they did break her neck and she came after us."

"With a broken neck? Who broke her neck?"

"Rex and yeah, her head was completely the wrong way round. So, excuse us for trying to save the world."

"Sorry." The doctor looked down at Jack's hand fidgeting in his lap.

"After we managed to fix that and find out who the people were in the CIA working for The Families with Rex the way he was-"

"Jack…" The doctor sighed.

"Oh sorry, Rex was in an accident the day the Miracle started but at the end he transplanted my blood into his veins to keep it safe, the only way to change The Blessing was to introduce my blood at both ends, because I was the only mortal left, we were in Shanghai and Rex and Esther were in Buenos Aires, so when we did that we found out who the rogue CIA agent was she shot Rex but…"

"He came back… Jack what have you done?" The doctor moved his hand from Jack's back to his forehead and rubbed it.

"I didn't do anything! I didn't tell him to put my blood in his veins, he was supposed to carry it in a briefcase but if he hadn't done what he did then the world would have ended because they got the briefcase and blew it up. He saved the world."

"Okay, I'm sorry." The doctor leaned forward and kissed Jack's cheek.

"It's alright but after that, Gwen decided it was all too much, her father had been ill before it all started so when we put it right all of the category ones – oh, I mean the people who were dying but couldn't die – they all died so she lost her father. When she shot me she killed her father. Even though it was the right thing to do, after everything that has happened it was too much for her."

They both took a second, the doctor to take everything in - it was a lot of information to get so quickly - and Jack to get over telling his doctor what he had had a part in.

"What will you do now?" He tried not to but he yawned then smiled. "Sorry, I'm exhausted."

"Come on, life at Torchwood will do that to you." Jack climbed into the cot and the doctor lay facing him. "And what else can I do, I will work at Torchwood probably until the end of my days."

"I wouldn't be so sure, Jack."

"Why, what do you know?" Jack narrowed his eyes.

"Nothing." He was lying but Jack knew that he couldn't ask and even if he did he would never tell. It was the burden of a time traveller. To know the future and all of it's terrible secrets.

"Okay, answer me one thing." He brushed his hand through the doctor's hair and smiled as he closed his eyes and hummed in response.

"Try me."

"Will you be here in the morning?"

The doctor opened his eyes. "Yes. But after that…"

"I know. But you won't leave without a proper goodbye?"

The doctor took Jack's hand in his. "Jack, I promise you I won't leave you without a proper goodbye." He sighed. "I've been told that I'm going to die soon."

"What?"

"It's a long story but I promise you I won't leave in the morning without saying goodbye and, if I get the chance, I promise you I won't  _leave_  without one final goodbye."

"So tomorrow might be it?" It dawned on Jack, their last conversation was what Jack had done and what he had tried to do. What he had lost while he had been trying to salvage everything. 

"Maybe. But not if I can help it." He kissed Jack's hand.

"Okay, doctor. It looks like you will be leaving me behind after all."

"I'm sorry Jack, I will regenerate but, you've seen it before, it's like a death because I won't be me any more. It's not just a different face, it's different wants, likes, habits, tastes… Everything."

"I know. But you'll always be my doctor, whatever face you have and if you ever need me or… just  _want_  me," they smiled, "you know where I am."

"I do. And if you ever hear that noise again, you come running Jack Harkness, you run to me and you help me do something… cool."

Jak's brow dipped. "Something cool? What happened to molto bene or brilliant?"

"I don't know," He looked off into the distance and something in his eyes told Jack that he didn't know the full story, "I've lived too long Jack. I really have."

Jack held his doctor in his arms for a few hours, although he trusted his promise he just couldn't sleep and when the doctor woke up he knew it was almost over.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last one, The Doctor and Jack say goodbye... Twice.  
> Stole one of Amy's lines to 11 here. Sorry Karen.

For an hour or so they rolled around kissing lazily, content to just be with each other and not wanting it to end. Until eventually they both got dressed and headed up the stairs where they had some coffee and sat in silence.

"Jack, I don't know what to say here; I've never been good at goodbyes."

"Me neither." Jack watched him rub his hands together and smiled weakly to himself.

"I do have to go. Or… I might just stay here, with you forever."

Jack smiled wider, a short laugh escaping, and choked back tears. "I can't let you do that. What would the Earth do without you, Doctor?"

"I don't know if I save it from trouble or if it gets into trouble because of me."

"Like the 'which came first – John Smith or John Smith' thing?"

He smiled then. "Yeah, I do use it a lot, don't I? I never seen that coming."

"You never do."

"No. No, I don't." He sighed, stood up and Jack, taking a second to gather himself did the same. They hugged each other for a long time and then Jack kissed his Doctor, firmly but with as much care as he could. "I really could, you know…" He looked at Jack's face as if trying to memorise it while he was pulling his coat on.

"I know, Doctor. But you'd get bored. I think there's only room in Cardiff for one of us." Jack knew that the universe needed the Doctor and the Doctor needed the universe. "But you do need someone, Doctor, to stop you  _and_  to keep you going."

"I know." The Doctor walked to the TARDIS and turned around. "Oh Captain, Captain Jack Harkness," then he saluted the Captain, "it's been a pleasure. Don't wait for me, Jack, because I don't know if-"

Jack put his hand up briefly. "I know Doctor," he lowered it again, "but let me tell you this. You need to remember, you think that you bring so much destruction in your wake but you don't. There are people, billions of people, past, present and future on this planet alone, and that's not to mention the rest of the life forms out there, who are alive because of you. And I know you must get sick of hearing it because it doesn't make the bad any better but that  _has_  to be worth something, saving the Earth… Not too shabby, is it?"

The Doctor smiled. "No… I guess not."

"Doctor, I will always be here and I will always understand. Remember that; you are not alone. I will always be your friend even to the bitter end. Whatever that may be." Jack shrugged lightly, to show that he wasn't going to ask.

"Let me tell you something-" Just then the alarms blared through the Hub. Jack looked around confused while The Doctor just looked around. The Doctor looked back at Jack. "What's that?"

"Someone's coming in, someone who has clearance…"

Just then Gwen emerged from the door. She paused in her footsteps when she saw the scene before her - the TARDIS, Jack and a stranger that could really only be on person.

"Gwen Copper, hello!" The Doctor smiled and walked over to her to shake her hand which prompted her to continue towards them.

"You're the Doctor, I recognise you." She looked over his face, remembering it on the screen and idly thinking that it looked more tired.

"What are you doing here, Gwen?" Jack was confused and may have sounded a little annoyed. He couldn't take her leaving the first time and the idea of it happening again pulled inside him, like someone tugging on a stitch.

"I'm sorry Jack, I didn't mean to barge in-"

Jack relaxed his face. "You're not. I was just surprised that's all. Come here." He hugged her and kissed her forehead but he was keeping his eyes on his Doctor because he had a tendency to slip away when Jack wasn't looking.

"Gwen Cooper, from a long line of Coopers! I've met a distant relative of yours." The Doctor smiled.

"You have?" She turned to The Doctor.

"Yes, she helped Rose and me defeat, Well... I say me, had a different face then… Well, anyway… We met Charles Dickens!"

"Really?" Jack and Gwen spoke at once.

"Yes, she was… She was brilliant." His smile fell and he remembered her in the archway as The Doctor himself realised that she was dead. "She gave her life to save the world…" He cleared his throat. "Some things never change." He looked down and then suddenly wrapped Gwen in a hug. "It was nice to meet you, Gwen."

She laughed and Jack smiled while Gwen's hands came up to his shoulder blades. "It's nice to finally meet you in the flesh, aren't you staying?"

"Oh, I have to go." He pulled back. "But you look after him." He smiled at Jack. "I won't see you again Gwen, and if, by some chance I do, I won't look like this." He smiled with tears in his eyes.

She looked from the strange man with the great hair, great smile and great coat to her boss with the great hair, great smile and great coat. "I'll explain it later." Jack smiled at her and put his hand out to shake his Doctor's hand.

The Doctor looked at it and smiled at Jack, "I think we are a little past that Captain Harkness." He pulled Jack into another hug and the three of them laughed. Gwen was the only one to look slightly shocked when the two men shared one last genuine kiss. But she wasn't overly surprised - Jack had a habit of kissing people. And the Doctor walked to his TARDIS.

"Doctor?" The man turned on his converse to look back as jack spoke. "You were going to tell me something, before the alarms went off."

"Oh yeah. You said 'right to the bitter end' well, let me tell you, and remember this Gwen Cooper for when it comes into question the next time Jack has to make the hard choice, that Captain Jack Harkness… Also known as The Face of Boe…" Jack and The Doctor smiled, "In the end, you show just how good of heart you _really_  are." He opened the TARDIS door and stepped inside before looking over his shoulder to them both. "I should know… I was there." He smiled and closed the door.

Jack and Gwen watched as that familiar noise sounded out, the wind blew and the light flashed on and off. The Captain watched as his tears fell and the little blue box that had changed his life for his eternity faded out of Torchwood.

"What did he mean he wouldn't look like that?" Gwen reached and gently wiped Jack's tears away.

"Gwen Cooper, sit down while I tell you a few stories that I haven't told anyone before. About me, about the Doctor and about… time itself."

>><<

_Some years later in Zaggit Zagoo, on the planet Zog._

Jack is sitting in an Alien Bar drowning his sorrows and wondering what to do now. Now that he can't go back and now that he feels he can't go on.

A barman walks over and puts a piece of paper down on the bar in front of Jack. "From the man over there."

Jack looks over the shoulder of the barman to the other end of the bar. There, looking back at him, is his Doctor. One final time. His face says it all; now is the time that his Doctor dies. Now is the time that Jack is alone again. Jack looks at the paper hoping that when he looks back up his Doctor won't be gone. 'His name is Alonso.' Jack looks up and The Doctor gestures his head to Jack's left. Jack turns his head to see a young man in an Edwardian naval uniform sit down, he is sad and about to drown his sorrows too. Jack turns back to his Doctor and salutes the man one last time, The Doctor replying with a knowing and weak smile, before turning his attention back to the young man.

"So, Alonso, going my way?" He put on his smile.

"How do you know my name?" The young man looks too tired to even be very surprised at all. Jack wonders how the Doctor knows him and what must have happened to the lad for that to be the case.

"I'm kind of psychic." For a second Jack thinks back to his last night with his Doctor and Jack saying something similar but it fades again as Alonso speaks.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know what I'm thinking right now?" There is already a slight smile on Alonso's face. It's reluctant but not unwelcome.

Jack grinned, he didn't have to be psychic to figure it out. "Oh, yeah." The kid smiled back, a little embarrassed, and took a sip of his own drink.

The last of the Timelords was going to die today and then carry on. Because that's what they did, The Doctor and The Captain; the last of their kinds, what else could they do? Captain Jack Harkness kept on going with the knowledge that in his last moments he did something that His Doctor thought was right and good.

And he should know because, most importantly, His Doctor was there.


End file.
